The Trump Curse is Real

The Trump curse is real. And we have the facts to prove it.

We regret to inform America’s sports fans that the Trump Curse, which started out as a tongue-in-cheek joke, may actually be real.

On Monday, millions of Americans watched Belgium dismantle the United States, thrashing us in a 4-1 rout and knocking us out of the World Cup. For Trump, it means that he can add Team USA as yet another entry to what is becoming an astonishing losing streak.

Since taking office, every single game Trump has involved himself in has only brought defeat after defeat.

Let’s run it back, shall we?

🐊 Trump attends Florida’s national championship. The Gators lose 27-21.

🏈 Trump shows up to the Super Bowl. The Kansas City Chiefs, his preferred team, lose 40-22.

🏀 Trump paralyzes New York City and attends the Knicks game. The Knicks lose, blowing their winning streak. At the next game, where Trump is not in attendance, the Knicks win the championship.

⚽ Trump personally wades into Team USA’s World Cup controversy. Belgium wins 4-1, knocking us out of the World Cup.

Honestly, given his track record, we’re surprised he hasn’t started betting against his teams on Kalshi ahead of time. In light of the countless other instances of insider trading, someone should probably look into that.

Ahead of Team USA’s match against Belgium, Trump became part of the tournament’s story after publicly weighing in on the controversy surrounding Folarin Balogun’s red card, taking a victory lap Monday morning when the decision was ultimately reversed.

Unfortunately for Americans (and many things with Trump are so often unfortunate), overturning the red card didn’t overturn the scoreboard.

At the same time, Trump’s insistence that the red card be rescinded exemplifies the perfect irony and contradiction of MAGA. Just a week after the Supreme Court only narrowly preserved birthright citizenship in direct opposition to Trump’s attempts to upend it, the Don was out to bat for a player who would not be considered an American citizen under his proposed plan. Flo contributed three goals and one assist in four appearances during the 2026 World Cup — birthright citizenship is starting to sound pretty good, right?

To add insult to injury, Team USA was let down by a poor performance from Christian Pulisic. He failed to find the back of the net and left the game early after his self-inflicted ankle injury. The Right-wing right winger, who has been known to do the Trump dance as his goal celebration, watched the final stretch from the sidelines as Belgium piled on goals.

Which brings us back to the Trump Curse.

Trump got involved. Balogun’s red card was overturned. America had its star. The right had its narrative.

But Belgium had the final score.

Sure, you can overturn a red card. But just like the 2020 election, you can’t overturn a fair-and-square loss.

Maybe, just maybe, there’s a lesson here. Perhaps presidents should spend less time lobbying FIFA and more time addressing the affordability crisis facing every American every day. Maybe MAGA should stop trying to exploit sports by hosting UFC fights on the South Lawn of the White House, celebrating Trump’s first-of-its-kind “FIFA Peace Prize,” or actively courting (and making shady deals with) the Saudi-backed LIV, and start fixing the hole that Trump’s dug for us.

We’re not saying Donald Trump possesses supernatural powers capable of dooming every team he supports. At least, not entirely.

We’re just saying that the next time your favorite team is chasing a championship, you may want to check whether a certain large-framed 80-year-old is on the guest list.